There is nothing wrong with being a people pleaser...it's great to please others. Our essential human nature to want to give to others without the expectation of getting anything in return, is beautiful. If this is you, keep doing what you're doing!
People pleasing becomes a problem when we are always concerned with how others think of us. We think, say and do things based on the fear that people won't like us unless we say and do the things that gain their approval. This comes when we trust another source outside of ourselves, rather than trusting ourselves. This type of please pleasing is making choices based on what others will think of you.
How many times have you pushed aside your needs to help others?
How many times have you gone along with someone's opinion just to keep the peace?
How often have you bitten your tongue or swallowed your emotions and responded "I'm fine" when someone asks you what's wrong?
If you resonate with any of these, your people pleasing might be hurting you.
To truly please people we need to inspire positive emotions inside of them. But in order to do that, we need to fill ourselves up with love, abundance and kindness so that we have enough to give away. If we continue to say yes to things we don't want to do, or we continue to stay in a situation that doesn't fill us up anymore, we don't have enough love, compassion and kindness in us to genuinely be able to give it away.
Here is one step to take if you are a people pleaser:
Make a list of all the things you don't want to do.
Then ask the following questions: Can you just stop? If you can't stop, can you do less of it, or maybe share it? Can you find a way to enjoy it because ultimately, you're doing it for a good reason (assuming it's not attached to seeking approval?)
Once you go through this exercise you need to know that it's okay to change your mind. A core belief some people think is that once you say yes to something, you're obligated to stay committed to it. Not only it is okay to change your mind, but that's also how you start to create the life you've always dreamed of. Your life right now is a result of all the thoughts, words and actions you believed in the past. If you continue to belief the same thoughts, speak the same words and take the same actions you will continue to get the same results. If you're happy with where you're at then that's great. But if you aren't living the life you want, you need to start making some changes. If you don't, your life will never change.
Transitioning from people pleasing to soul pleasing means giving yourself the time and space to determine what you truly love. Allowing yourself to find what really fills you up and allowing yourself to live in this loving, joyful state. Once in this space, we can give even more to others because we receive what we give without condition. If you're receiving more love and joy, you'll be able to give more of it away.
If you're ready to transition from people pleasing to soul pleasing and need more help, sign up for a FREE discovery session with me! Make today the first day of your new life.
Love + Light,
Becky
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